For those of you reading this who aren't familiar with adoption, it's not always a case of "love at first sight". With Jazmin it was; she was a baby, and who doesn't just fall in love with babies instantly, especially ones with huge eyes that stared into your soul?
With Judi, it was different. I had hoped that it would be the same, but instead of a sweet, quiet baby, we were handed a 3-year old teenager! She had a fully formed personality with some rather undesirable habits and was fully articulate in Chinese, and just by the tone of her voice you could tell what she was thinking, which wasn't always a good thing!
So I had to fall in love with my daughter over time. I've been Judi's Mama for 60 days today, and I'm thrilled to say I'm no longer going thru the "motions" of mothering. There's a saying in the adoption world, "Fake it til you make it!". That's what I did; I did for Judi all the things I am supposed to do as her mother: fed her, played with her, comforted her, hugged her, kissed her, you name it. At first, I felt like I was babysitting; when was someone going to come get this rambunctious, misbehaving child??
Than last week, something happened. We were at Grandpa's house as usual. I was fixing dinner and called everyone to come eat. Judi came running at full tilt, hit the kitchen floor in her socks, and WHAM! Right on her little hinny she went, and slid right into the stove; ouch! Well, you can imagine, she came up wailing and grabbing for me, her Mama! I picked that little girl up and held on tight; she was sqeezing me so hard I could hardly breathe! But I felt that amazing rush of emotion, that overwhelming feeling that you're the only one in the world who can soothe the hurt and take away the pain. So for all the world to know, I love my funny, silly, rambunctious, stubborn, always-on-the-go Miss Judi!
Consider stepping "outside the box" and adopt a child...it will not only change that child's life, but yours as well.
5 comments:
Hey Debbie - HUZZAH!! HOORAH!!! AND MAYBE EVEN A 'SNOOPY DANCE' FOR YOU HERE IN CINCY!! Such a great post!! You're right - those who haven't adopted don't understand "fake it" - and maybe even those who haven't adopted 'older kids' 1) accept it 2) consider themselves blessed it doesn't apply to them and 3) at least still support those of us that have felt that way! But that moment when it 'really all comes together' - oh such joy.....maybe what Francis of Assisi meant when he referred to 'perfect joy'!
hugs - loads of them -
aus and co.
I have felt similar feelings with our 6 year old (we've been home 3.5 months) and it is still somewhat of a process. It's just different with an older child -- many things easier, but many things harder too! Either way, it's amazing!
oh Debbie, now I'm crying! How wonderful for you to have gone through this and to have the courage to share it. When we were home a couple weeks I told Tim I felt like we were babysitting; I've always felt like I love Reed but these last few weeks have felt 'different'. After his surgery last Friday I believe I realized how much I love him when they wheeled him into the room and he was crying out to us.
Glad things are going well, you have a precious family.
Tina
Hey, Debbie.
I actually have a blog accout that I used for Truman Award Readers Selectors this year. I will have to start blogging so that you will be able to see what's up with the "Brock Family". we have TONS of new updates. I was telling my mom as we read your blog, that we need to come and visit you guys sometime soon. I will post a bunch so you can stay updated.
God Bless,
Crystal(:
Out of 5 adopted kids, I had one that this happened with. I completely understand. So thrilled this bonding happened (early IMO). You described it very, very well. Blessings to you. Beth Gore
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