For those of you reading this who aren't familiar with adoption, it's not always a case of "love at first sight". With Jazmin it was; she was a baby, and who doesn't just fall in love with babies instantly, especially ones with huge eyes that stared into your soul?
With Judi, it was different. I had hoped that it would be the same, but instead of a sweet, quiet baby, we were handed a 3-year old teenager! She had a fully formed personality with some rather undesirable habits and was fully articulate in Chinese, and just by the tone of her voice you could tell what she was thinking, which wasn't always a good thing!
So I had to fall in love with my daughter over time. I've been Judi's Mama for 60 days today, and I'm thrilled to say I'm no longer going thru the "motions" of mothering. There's a saying in the adoption world, "Fake it til you make it!". That's what I did; I did for Judi all the things I am supposed to do as her mother: fed her, played with her, comforted her, hugged her, kissed her, you name it. At first, I felt like I was babysitting; when was someone going to come get this rambunctious, misbehaving child??
Than last week, something happened. We were at Grandpa's house as usual. I was fixing dinner and called everyone to come eat. Judi came running at full tilt, hit the kitchen floor in her socks, and WHAM! Right on her little hinny she went, and slid right into the stove; ouch! Well, you can imagine, she came up wailing and grabbing for me, her Mama! I picked that little girl up and held on tight; she was sqeezing me so hard I could hardly breathe! But I felt that amazing rush of emotion, that overwhelming feeling that you're the only one in the world who can soothe the hurt and take away the pain. So for all the world to know, I love my funny, silly, rambunctious, stubborn, always-on-the-go Miss Judi!